A Regurgitation of the Mind

this morning i woke up feeling grumpy and with a headache

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i got to school 2 minutes before homeroom, enough time to get into a dumb fight with my friend John …. he made some gay joke which usually I wouldnt care about, normally I’d laugh, but i wasn’t in the mood so I got a bit agro at him and embarassed myself.  I sulked off to my first class, Math, it felt like it was dragging on for hours. When the first period ended I went out to my car to get my biology text book but it wasn’t there, I’d left it at home …. so I just decided ‘fuck this’ and I got in my car and drove off.   I made a new playlist for driving on the weekend so I put it on.  I didn’t really have anywhere to go, at first I was going to just drive home and get my book for biology but I really felt like driving somewhere.  So i texted my friend Gerry in Cambridge to see if he wanted to hang out.  He is a senior but he has a really weird schedule, he seems to only go to school 3 days a week for just a few hours.  I drove all the way to Cambridge and I never got a txt back from Gerry so I drove over to his work on the off-chance he was there.   Gerry works at a mexican restaurant run by his gay granddad, they make really good fajitas.   I looked through the window and I saw Gerry’s grandad and a few customers, but no Gerry.  I was really in the mood for some mexican food then, but i didn’t want to sit in a restaurant on my own, so I went around the block to Chipotle and got a chicken burrito.   I ate half of it in my car, it wasn’t very good.  I txted Gerry again but he still wasn’t replying so I thought I’d go check out the mall.  It was dead, there were a few moms pushing babies in strollers, and that’s about it.  I was wearing my school uniform which felt strange, so I went into American Eagle to buy a shirt to change into.  I didn’t really see anything in there I liked, and I was the only customer in there with two shopping clerks hovering over me the whole time so I left.  I went into Barnes and Noble, picked up a copy of GQ magazine and sat in a cushy armchair and read it.  Usually Barnes and Noble is really busy and all the seats are taken so it was pretty sweet to be able to sit down and read for a change.  I sat and read for nearly an hour, then I walked over to the food court, I got a mango smoothie from Orange Julius.  I tried calling Gerry but it went to his voicemail, so i left a rude message, then I drove home.  It was nearly 2:00 when i got back to Annapolis, I was feeling a bit hyper so I decided to rake all the leaves in our front yard. Then i went inside and made a batch of grape jello, and some spaghetti bolognaise for dinner.  

so that was my Holden Caulfied inspired day of running away from school.  Now I’m going to make a new playlist for raking leaves, and go finish the back yard.

i hate the fact i live in a state where there’s nowhere to drive to. this would be so fun to do every once in awhile.

Social Morals on Social Legal Issues

Since I became obsessed with The West Wing, I’ve been fascinated by the idea of the “religious right”. I guess they intrigue me because there appear to be a vast number in comparison to Australia, where everyone laughs them off as being “nutters”. I’ve always had difficulty understanding how a human being can picket the funeral of someone who has been euthanised, solely for the fact that they don’t agree with the fact that that person recently ended their life. I have difficulty understanding how a human being can murder a homosexual couple for “being gay”. But more importantly, I have difficulty understanding how an elected official can stand from their parliament, or their Congress and denounce legislation that only affects a small minority of people.

I’ve mulled over this thought for some time, until tonight, when I found a conservative group on Facebook. I felt this was an opportunity to put my disbelief into words, and ask the masses why they feel they have the right to legislate on something that only affects the small minority, and in no way, shape or form affects them. An excerpt of my post is below:

I have lived a very liberal and religion-free childhood, and so have those around me. While I’m sure conservatives do exist in Australia, the left outrank the right by a scale of 5:1, at least in my state (and most of urban Australia). I have been brought up to accept each and every point of view, and to understand that “the right opinion” doesn’t exist, for every single person on this planet has different societal morals and expectations.

My question is, why don’t an alarming number of conservative Americans see personal belief this way also?

I’m well versed in the social platform of the Republican Party, as well as the other minor conservative parties in America. They’re basically a carbon copy of each other - and why not, let’s just list the three big ones, “pro-life, pro-traditional marriage and anti-prostitution”. Obviously, these correspond to three main social issues; Euthanasia, Prostitution and Gay Marriage. I pick these issues (and ignored Abortion) because they are the four that I least understand in terms of the conservative opinion. I welcome healthy debate on immigration, “The Drug War” and even abortion, despite the fact they are issues I have no doubt we collectively would disagree on.

I pick these issues because I fail to see why the right feel the need to focus their time and energy on them, when at the end of the day, these three areas aren’t going to effect them if they don’t want them to. I mean, assuming the three areas of law I have just mentioned have been legalised, imagine the following three scenarios. The who lives three blocks away from you hooks up with a prostitute. Your work colleagues’ husband’s mother wishes to end her life, after years battling a terminal illness. Your paper-boy marries his gay partner of seven years. How do these three scenarios effect you in any way? It is my opinion that they don’t in the slightest.

I’m aware the majority of you would be vehemently opposed to the aforementioned occurring. My guess as to why would be that it goes against your beliefs. Now, that’s a perfectly valid reason for topics like the economy, foreign aid, the role of the federal government etc. Why? Because these are issues that affect YOU. If the government decides to bail out another Fortune 500 company gone bust, it’s going to be your tax dollars playing the save game. You are entitled to make your decisions that AFFECT YOU based on your beliefs. I don’t think you get this privilege with the three areas of law I mentioned earlier, for the sole reason that they effect a minority. If you don’t want to get a gay marriage, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to have sexual intercourse with a prostitute, that’s ok too. If you don’t want to be euthanised, that’s your prerogative. But why do you feel that your opinion should affect what others who do not share the same opinion can do, legally? I feel that is criminal.

Picture this. Imagine the most conservative, right wing district in the United States right now. Unsurprisingly, its representative to Congress is most probably a Republican. Amidst the large number of conservatives in this district is a gay couple who wish to be married. Conveniently, around this time, a bill is introduced into Congress, proposing a federal blanket legalisation of gay marriage (excuse my limited knowledge of the Division of Powers between the Federal and State governments and assume what I have just said is constitutionally valid). This gay couple visit their Congressperson and urge them to vote with the Bill. Don’t you agree that even though this member of Congress might represent 10,000 constituents who oppose this legislation, they are obligated to vote in favour for the constituents who the bill WILL AFFECT.

I really hope I get some constructive posts back, so I can see what they believe. However, I’m more prepared for the inevitable “I’m praying for your poor, disturbed soul tonight.” But maybe they’ll surprise me and leave the religious aspect away from the debate. I hope so.

Drama Exam Aftermath

So, yesterday I had my first external exam for the year - practical Drama. External basically means our teacher doesn’t mark us, but we’re assessed by an external marker. I can’t remember the last time I was nervous about performing before my exam, but I honestly thought it was the worst feeling of my life. I was that close to forgetting my lines in one of my solo pieces, and then I swallowed some words in my other one, but apart from that I did ok - better than expected I guess. Then my group piece went fine, but as soon as the exam finished, our teacher rocked up to us and was like “I’ve seen you perform it better,” which worked wonders on my self esteem. I just am so happy it’s over - we just spend the next two weeks preparing for our written exam next month. I even get a sleep in on Friday (no Drama class for the rest of the week) which makes the weeks of rehearsing all worth it.

I have twenty-nine days until the rest of my exams start, and then they’re all over in four days. That’s both good and bad - I’m finished my year by November 13th, but it also means I’ve got four exams in four days - and I have two on the same day (yuck). Oh well, I’ll live. I hope.

Exams

I’m really not looking forward to exams this year. It’s not that I haven’t worked hard until now; I have… It’s just that it’s so hard to do well under our system. If I get more than one B in an exam (which is highly likely), I fall back from an EA (highest mark) to an HA (second highest mark). And if that happens, I get less TCE points. And if that happens, I get a lower TER score. And if that happens, I mightn’t get into a mainland university. And if that happens, I’m in stuck in Tasmania forever. And if that happens, I will be very sad.

First exam is next Wednesday - my practical Drama exam. Then I have about 3 weeks, and the rest of my exams are on. Ugh.